Rough couple of days
Fucking hit some rough couple of days. I miss her, I miss talking to her, I miss touching her and I miss looking inside her green eyes. Old memories of good times are appearing in my head. The dreams got even crazier, I dreamt that I have some black stuff coming out of my body and the more I tried to wash it, the more it would come out. Fucking nightmare.
She is going away this week, so I am sure there will be no communication. Through the whole time I didn’t even let her know that I miss her. I feel like I am close to bargaining stage right now. I think being on a dating website and imagining new date pushed me to it. I really don’t want to go through the whole getting to know each other phase again, I want her someone I know so well and someone who knows me very well.
I guess I need to remember that the relationship had to end of whatever reasons she chose, and I had my own reasons as well. Even though I wouldn’t have mind spending the rest of my life in that kind of relationship, I really did love her. At least this time I don’t really have a lot of hope, we’ve been through it so many times that the possibility of going back to her is pretty much non-existent, I don’t even want it – well I didn’t want it, but at this particular moment I do. I just want to fucking see her.
Rough patch, what can I say!
